Our experiences might be different, but I believe it all starts in kindergarten during our graduations before we step into the elementary school environment, where each one of us walks up to stage and say what they want to be when they grow up. And then by the moment we proceed to high school after a few years, we are handed an invisible checklist of things that we should have achieved before a certain age. It is a rigid, strict, unforgiving timeline: juggle high school work with studying for college’s first semester calculus and biology exam, juggle high school work with working a part time job so you can have a car by your first year of college, secure an internship in your first semester of college, graduate on time, land the dream job immediately, climb the ladder swiftly, and secure stability before the clock strikes 25. We look at LinkedIn announcements and Instagram milestones, convinced that everyone else received a functional map while we are left wandering the forest without signal.
But maps only work if the terrain stays flat. For most of
us, the path is entirely unmapped.
Yeah right, maybe a decade or two ago all this was possible,
but now, that’s something the kids and some relatives of the top 1% and a few
from middle and upper middle class can achieve because they have the resources,
and of course, the connections. But for a regular Daniel and Tiffany from the
South Bronx, that’s not the case. They have to work twice if not five times harder to just
to make sure the complete high school and try for a better future. Even if they
were to secure a weekend job, it would be from store down their street and
their little earnings go straight towards to groceries contribution at home, not
saving up for a Honda.
I for instance, in 2023, I walked onto my university campus
as a first-year student, absolutely certain of one thing: I had made it. The
hard part was over. I had a clear vision of how the next few years would
unfold. Success seemed like a straightforward, open door, and I expected to
walk right through it, accumulating achievements at a steady, predictable pace.
Little did I know I was about to jump through endless hoops
just to reach things that originally seemed effortless. Yes, I effortlessly got
great marks, but what about the other things I usually see my fave YouTubers getting
because of their “great marks”? why aren’t
emails coming in begging me to come for the summer vacation work programme? Why
aren’t my applications getting responded to meanwhile I’ve got a GPA most can
only dream of? Believe me, I once got depressed because of how nonlinear my
path seemed—I felt so left behind.
The expected wins did not come early. Opportunities did not
fall into my lap. Instead, my first few years became a masterclass in trial,
error, and waiting. It was only when I reached my final year that things
finally began to move. The projects, the growth, and the milestones I had
chased since day one finally started taking root.
Looking back now, that delayed timing was the greatest gift
I could have received. That illusion of a starting line I had for myself,
almost had me do things I would have been still regretting too this day.
The Burden of Early Wins
There is a quiet danger in getting everything you want
exactly when you think you want it. Had I achieved all those milestones during
my first few years of varsity, I lacked the maturity to hold onto them. I
likely would have failed to maintain them.
When success comes too early, we often mistake luck for
sustainability. We haven't yet built the emotional calluses required to handle
the weight of achievement. By forcing me to wait, struggle, and pivot, the
delays built the exact infrastructure I needed to support my growth today. The
hoops weren't obstacles keeping me from my path; they were the training ground.
Deconstructing the Linear Myth
Sociology tells us that human lives are rarely linear, yet
our cultural narratives insist on a straight line. We treat life like a race
where moving at a different pace equates to falling behind.
But success is not an escalator. It is a series of jagged
peaks, valleys, and sudden detours. Achieving something later than your
internal timeline dictated does not diminish its value. In fact, it often
enhances it. A milestone reached after a detour carries the weight of
resilience. A win achieved at a different pace carries the wisdom of endurance.
Building Your Own Compass
If you are currently navigating your 20s and feeling like
your timeline is lagging, consider these shifts:
- Pace
is personal. Your capacity to sustain a win matter infinitely more
than the speed at which you reached it.
- Delays
are data. The time spent waiting is not wasted; it is when you gather
the tools, maturity, and clarity required for the next level.
- Trust
the timing. Outgrowing your original plan is a sign of evolution, not
failure.
The next time you feel behind, take a breath and look at the
landscape around you. You are not lost. You are simply taking the scenic
route—and that is usually where the best views are